Well, yesterday I woke up at 216. SO depressing. I did feel better all day long, which was good, but still.
I ran out of my bottle of Releana yesterday, and I seriously considered going off it instead of mixing another bottle. But I decided to give it another chance and mixed up a new bottle. Took the first drops from it last night before bed.
This morning, 214.8. So.....was there something wrong with the old bottle of Releana? (did it get too cold when it was in the freezer box when I drove up to my brother's house?). Or is this the effect of the apple day? Or is this all completely random? It is all very frustrating, but I suppose, as long as I keep going down, it will all be OK. It's hard not to feel like I wasted a week, though. and I have a pretty constant fear that this could stall at any time. I guess we'll see.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I'm back!
After my hard couple of days, and my week-long stall, and my apple-hell, it was pretty great to wake up this morning and be at 214.4. But better than that is the fact that I've been feeling pretty good all day, positive, happy, full of energy, kind of bouncy, and even in those moments when I'm hungry, it doesn't feel bad. It's like the Releana just kicked right back in or something!
Now, I can tell the difference between when Releana is burning that fat, and when it isn't. It really does feel different. Good to know.
The real test for whether I'm back in the game will be tomorrow. If I'm down, then I'll take this as a temporary and unpleasant side-track. If I'm not down, well, then there will be a problem. I mean, I do worry a bit that being down today was a result of all the apples yesterday. But I'm crossing my fingers that this is all real.
And, really, what is real is that I do feel lots better and more happy and kind of balanced, so at the very least, this is good.
Now, I can tell the difference between when Releana is burning that fat, and when it isn't. It really does feel different. Good to know.
The real test for whether I'm back in the game will be tomorrow. If I'm down, then I'll take this as a temporary and unpleasant side-track. If I'm not down, well, then there will be a problem. I mean, I do worry a bit that being down today was a result of all the apples yesterday. But I'm crossing my fingers that this is all real.
And, really, what is real is that I do feel lots better and more happy and kind of balanced, so at the very least, this is good.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Hard hard hard
Well, it's really gotten harder in the past few days. It's almost like the Releana has stopped working or something. On Monday, I called my clinic in CA. They said that most people plateau or stall while doing this diet, and that it was probably normal. They suggested the apple day routine as soon as I could do it.
Yesterday, my weight was 215.8 AGAIN, and I was pretty frustrated. I decided I would stop with the diet soda, and so I quit it cold turkey yesterday. I followed everything else perfectly. But all day long yesterday I was so hungry I was in pain. My stomach kept rumbling, I had cramps, I felt crabby and miserable, I almost started to cry spontaneously, and I even woke up in the middle of the night with my muscles around my stomach hurting. It hurt so much the pain woke me up!
And, after that misery, plus the extra misery of no diet soda on Monday, I woke up this morning to find I was 216.6! I gained weight while in physical pain from hunger! I gained almost a pound while on a 500 calorie a day diet! It was deeply horrible, plus I still felt physically bad this morning from my bad day yesterday.
I really wonder if the Releana is working. Maybe my bottle went bad? I have a couple more days of drops on this bottle, but I do wonder a bit. The clinic said that I might be building muscle instead of losing fat (I guess that is what sometimes causes these stalls). But I don't see why I would be building muscle right now. It's not like I'm doing any extra exercise or anything suddenly right now. Plus, that happy gently peaceful feeling that I've had with Releana is gone. And it hurts to be hungry, whereas it didn't hurt once the Releana kicked in when I first started. In fact, things have been so remarkably easy, this is really the first rough patch I've come on. And it sucks!
I did the apple day today. I was worried that no protein all day would make me light headed. I also worried about hunger and about how my energy would hold up. I actually couldn't end up forcing myself to eat another apple, so I only ate 7 instead of 8. I'm really hungry, and my stomach is rumbling. And it hurts. Plus I've had some diarrhea today too. The thought of apples makes me feel sick. YUCK. I used to like apples, but really, I may have had enough today! I did actually make it through the day OK, and I was thinking clearly enough, so that's good. (Hopefully, that's the Releana kicking back in!).
I really hope this works, and I go back to losing tomorrow. It's been frustrating, and now painful, to be doing this diet and not to be losing. I know I shouldn't complain about 20 pounds in less than a month, but still, it was working so wonderfully that this stall seems to be bigger than maybe it is. I hope the apple day worked! I have to admit, I've had several points today where I thought that if the apple day didn't work, I would have to quit. I mean, I can't go on like this forever, it's too debilitating! Plus, I'm so hungry right now I would really like to eat a good piece of pizza!
Yesterday, my weight was 215.8 AGAIN, and I was pretty frustrated. I decided I would stop with the diet soda, and so I quit it cold turkey yesterday. I followed everything else perfectly. But all day long yesterday I was so hungry I was in pain. My stomach kept rumbling, I had cramps, I felt crabby and miserable, I almost started to cry spontaneously, and I even woke up in the middle of the night with my muscles around my stomach hurting. It hurt so much the pain woke me up!
And, after that misery, plus the extra misery of no diet soda on Monday, I woke up this morning to find I was 216.6! I gained weight while in physical pain from hunger! I gained almost a pound while on a 500 calorie a day diet! It was deeply horrible, plus I still felt physically bad this morning from my bad day yesterday.
I really wonder if the Releana is working. Maybe my bottle went bad? I have a couple more days of drops on this bottle, but I do wonder a bit. The clinic said that I might be building muscle instead of losing fat (I guess that is what sometimes causes these stalls). But I don't see why I would be building muscle right now. It's not like I'm doing any extra exercise or anything suddenly right now. Plus, that happy gently peaceful feeling that I've had with Releana is gone. And it hurts to be hungry, whereas it didn't hurt once the Releana kicked in when I first started. In fact, things have been so remarkably easy, this is really the first rough patch I've come on. And it sucks!
I did the apple day today. I was worried that no protein all day would make me light headed. I also worried about hunger and about how my energy would hold up. I actually couldn't end up forcing myself to eat another apple, so I only ate 7 instead of 8. I'm really hungry, and my stomach is rumbling. And it hurts. Plus I've had some diarrhea today too. The thought of apples makes me feel sick. YUCK. I used to like apples, but really, I may have had enough today! I did actually make it through the day OK, and I was thinking clearly enough, so that's good. (Hopefully, that's the Releana kicking back in!).
I really hope this works, and I go back to losing tomorrow. It's been frustrating, and now painful, to be doing this diet and not to be losing. I know I shouldn't complain about 20 pounds in less than a month, but still, it was working so wonderfully that this stall seems to be bigger than maybe it is. I hope the apple day worked! I have to admit, I've had several points today where I thought that if the apple day didn't work, I would have to quit. I mean, I can't go on like this forever, it's too debilitating! Plus, I'm so hungry right now I would really like to eat a good piece of pizza!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
A Frustrating Sunday
So my fears on weight loss were justified. I weighed in this morning at 215.6, only 0.2 down from where I was on Wednesday. I was really unhappy about it this morning. It just seemed ridiculously unfair to have been SO faithful to the diet and to get nothing out of it. I have to remind myself that 20 pounds is a pretty good thing. But still.
I decided to read some of the online message boards to see if I could get an idea of what might be going on. I read that when people stall, which apparently happens to everyone, they should go on an apple day diet. The apple day is a smaller amount of water and 6 apples total all day long. That sounds a little scary to me, but at the same time, I'm feeling pretty desperate to break out of this plateau. The message boards said it is pretty typical to lose between 2-3 pounds the next day, and to be back on track.
Of course, the other thing people were saying is that the pounds don't matter and that even when stalling, the inches keep coming off. I haven't been tracking that. But now I wish I had been all along. I can't say that I've noticed getting smaller in the past few days, but hopefully I have been.
I have the first day of class for a new semester tomorrow (and three hour classes every day for the next six weeks!). I don't know if I can handle the apple day and still make it through.
I guess, though, when I really think about it, each time I'm worried about energy (mental or physical) while on this diet, it turns out never to be an issue. So maybe I can do it? I think I'll wait until Tuesday, though, just to be sure I can make it through the first day of class...
The other sad sad thing I read on the message boards was that diet soda is bad bad bad. I sometimes feel like I'm making it through my day with diet soda. I really don't know how I could do this without it. Plus, I seem to be losing the weight, and feeling good, and looking good, so perhaps the diet soda isn't hurting this diet?
In any case, perhaps I'll try to cut back tomorrow. Tea only. And maybe that will help with this stall....?
I guess I'll find out.
I decided to read some of the online message boards to see if I could get an idea of what might be going on. I read that when people stall, which apparently happens to everyone, they should go on an apple day diet. The apple day is a smaller amount of water and 6 apples total all day long. That sounds a little scary to me, but at the same time, I'm feeling pretty desperate to break out of this plateau. The message boards said it is pretty typical to lose between 2-3 pounds the next day, and to be back on track.
Of course, the other thing people were saying is that the pounds don't matter and that even when stalling, the inches keep coming off. I haven't been tracking that. But now I wish I had been all along. I can't say that I've noticed getting smaller in the past few days, but hopefully I have been.
I have the first day of class for a new semester tomorrow (and three hour classes every day for the next six weeks!). I don't know if I can handle the apple day and still make it through.
I guess, though, when I really think about it, each time I'm worried about energy (mental or physical) while on this diet, it turns out never to be an issue. So maybe I can do it? I think I'll wait until Tuesday, though, just to be sure I can make it through the first day of class...
The other sad sad thing I read on the message boards was that diet soda is bad bad bad. I sometimes feel like I'm making it through my day with diet soda. I really don't know how I could do this without it. Plus, I seem to be losing the weight, and feeling good, and looking good, so perhaps the diet soda isn't hurting this diet?
In any case, perhaps I'll try to cut back tomorrow. Tea only. And maybe that will help with this stall....?
I guess I'll find out.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Saturday, back from my brother's house
I haven't weighed myself since Wednesday morning, and I'm a little nervous about doing it tomorrow morning! My worry is that I didn't lose while I was gone, even though I was completely faithful to the diet, and even better on the timing of eating. I don't know why I'm so worried, but it feels kind of intense. It doesn't help that I "cheat-weighed" myself when I got home this afternoon; I was fully dressed, and the scale showed 220! It was incredibly depressing, and I started to try to guess how much each article of clothing weighed. I had to put the breaks on that pretty quickly, but it's left me with a kind of suspenseful worried feeling. I wish I had brought my scale with me to my brother's house! (I had assumed they would have one, but I didn't realize how much unpacking they still have to do after the move).
The good news is that I was open about my crazy diet with my brother and my SIL. I told them about Releana, and trying to reset my metabolism, and I told them a bit about what I was (and wasn't eating). It was a big moment for me, to be so open, and I was afraid they would ask a lot of questions or be a little judgmental about me using some kind of drug to help lose weight. I was always pretty private when I dieted. Secretive might be a better word. Anyway, it was no big deal to them, it seemed like. It was a quick conversation, and we were on to something else. I had packed all my food in little containers before I left home, and the biggest issue was trying to make room for them all the fridge when I arrived. It helped, I think, that they are a household when everyone eats whenever they feel like it. Even though they have a lovely new dining room, I don't think I've ever seen them sit down at a table together and eat, except at holidays. So I could just eat on my schedule, on my own, and it wasn't too weird. And I introduced my SIL to diet cherry Dr. Pepper, which is the best diet soda out there...
It turns out I did have a lot of energy for helping with unpacking, and we got a lot done. We probably got through 30 boxes, and we sorted everything, put a lot of stuff away, and broke the boxes down and cleaned it all up. It felt good, and it wasn't even my stuff. I had been a bit worried about whether my energy would hold up, given my low calorie count, but I felt like I had a lot of energy. I even chose to walk up to the hardware store about a mile away instead of driving when I ran out to get more garbage bags. It was a lovely day out, a sunny spring day, and I just felt like walking. When I got back, I realized what a good sign it was!
I had a weird dream while I was there. I dreamed about eating wonderful lovely food. Not gluttony, not binging, but just eating whatever I wanted from a table full of beautiful food. In my dream, I was really happy, and the colors and tones were all golden, like I was in a beautiful room or mansion maybe. I knew in the dream that I was on Releana, but I had somehow been given permission to eat what I want, and it wouldn't be a problem. I was kind of just picking bits and pieces, and it was so good, and I was talking with someone and having a great time (I don't remember who I was talking with, but he was eating too). It was a nice dream, but I think it is pretty darn funny that I'm pretty much starving myself and I'm to the point of literally dreaming about food! (I don't recall ever dreaming about food in any way before in my life, I can tell you that!).
OK, it's late and I better get to bed. Dreams of food?
Hopefully, tomorrow, I wake up with a good weight!
The good news is that I was open about my crazy diet with my brother and my SIL. I told them about Releana, and trying to reset my metabolism, and I told them a bit about what I was (and wasn't eating). It was a big moment for me, to be so open, and I was afraid they would ask a lot of questions or be a little judgmental about me using some kind of drug to help lose weight. I was always pretty private when I dieted. Secretive might be a better word. Anyway, it was no big deal to them, it seemed like. It was a quick conversation, and we were on to something else. I had packed all my food in little containers before I left home, and the biggest issue was trying to make room for them all the fridge when I arrived. It helped, I think, that they are a household when everyone eats whenever they feel like it. Even though they have a lovely new dining room, I don't think I've ever seen them sit down at a table together and eat, except at holidays. So I could just eat on my schedule, on my own, and it wasn't too weird. And I introduced my SIL to diet cherry Dr. Pepper, which is the best diet soda out there...
It turns out I did have a lot of energy for helping with unpacking, and we got a lot done. We probably got through 30 boxes, and we sorted everything, put a lot of stuff away, and broke the boxes down and cleaned it all up. It felt good, and it wasn't even my stuff. I had been a bit worried about whether my energy would hold up, given my low calorie count, but I felt like I had a lot of energy. I even chose to walk up to the hardware store about a mile away instead of driving when I ran out to get more garbage bags. It was a lovely day out, a sunny spring day, and I just felt like walking. When I got back, I realized what a good sign it was!
I had a weird dream while I was there. I dreamed about eating wonderful lovely food. Not gluttony, not binging, but just eating whatever I wanted from a table full of beautiful food. In my dream, I was really happy, and the colors and tones were all golden, like I was in a beautiful room or mansion maybe. I knew in the dream that I was on Releana, but I had somehow been given permission to eat what I want, and it wouldn't be a problem. I was kind of just picking bits and pieces, and it was so good, and I was talking with someone and having a great time (I don't remember who I was talking with, but he was eating too). It was a nice dream, but I think it is pretty darn funny that I'm pretty much starving myself and I'm to the point of literally dreaming about food! (I don't recall ever dreaming about food in any way before in my life, I can tell you that!).
OK, it's late and I better get to bed. Dreams of food?
Hopefully, tomorrow, I wake up with a good weight!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Wednesday, Darn that Beef!
215.8 this morning, representing zero loss in the past day. Disappointing. Since I ate beef yesterday, I'm thinking that might be the culprit. No more beef for me with Releana!
I'm about to get spend 3 days with my brother and my sister-in-law. They just moved to a new house and I want to help them unpack and move in, but I'm a little worried about energy. The thing is, I feel pretty energetic, but it's hard to imagine doing heavy lifting and unpacking and such while eating so little. Not to mention that it's a 3 hour drive in each direction. I guess I can only just do what I can.
The thing I'm more worried about is how my strange eating is going to go over. I hadn't told my SIL anything about this diet, and I have been worrying about what I was going to say to her. I was also worried about how I was going to deal with food while I was there. I finally decided to tell her this afternoon (I leave tonight). I didn't actually tell her about Releana, but I did tell her I was on a "crazy diet" to reset my metabolism. I think she's done enough crazy dieting not to think it was too strange. The problem was, before I talked to her, I still hadn't decided about what I was going to do about food. So then we had a long awkward conversation about food, where she offered to get food for me, and I said I'd go shopping and get it myself, and she said oh no, she insisted on getting food, and I starting thinking about how I was going to weigh it while I was there, and how uptight I was going to have to be, and it was just ugly. I finally decided that I would pack out my food for the next three days, and bring in up in little meal packs so all I have to do is open one up and eat. I can do that on my own schedule (as long as I can keep them all in their fridge). I'm thinking that maybe the meals for Saturday might not be so fresh, but as long as they aren't spoiled, I'll be OK. Plus, it's not like they live in the backwoods. I can go shopping if I need to. I'm sure I'll end up telling my SIL all about this, too, or maybe not, because just typing those words made me feel a little awkward.
Releana sure works, but the real strictness of it makes it incredibly hard to manage in public. Especially if you don't want your business being so out there in public!
I'm about to get spend 3 days with my brother and my sister-in-law. They just moved to a new house and I want to help them unpack and move in, but I'm a little worried about energy. The thing is, I feel pretty energetic, but it's hard to imagine doing heavy lifting and unpacking and such while eating so little. Not to mention that it's a 3 hour drive in each direction. I guess I can only just do what I can.
The thing I'm more worried about is how my strange eating is going to go over. I hadn't told my SIL anything about this diet, and I have been worrying about what I was going to say to her. I was also worried about how I was going to deal with food while I was there. I finally decided to tell her this afternoon (I leave tonight). I didn't actually tell her about Releana, but I did tell her I was on a "crazy diet" to reset my metabolism. I think she's done enough crazy dieting not to think it was too strange. The problem was, before I talked to her, I still hadn't decided about what I was going to do about food. So then we had a long awkward conversation about food, where she offered to get food for me, and I said I'd go shopping and get it myself, and she said oh no, she insisted on getting food, and I starting thinking about how I was going to weigh it while I was there, and how uptight I was going to have to be, and it was just ugly. I finally decided that I would pack out my food for the next three days, and bring in up in little meal packs so all I have to do is open one up and eat. I can do that on my own schedule (as long as I can keep them all in their fridge). I'm thinking that maybe the meals for Saturday might not be so fresh, but as long as they aren't spoiled, I'll be OK. Plus, it's not like they live in the backwoods. I can go shopping if I need to. I'm sure I'll end up telling my SIL all about this, too, or maybe not, because just typing those words made me feel a little awkward.
Releana sure works, but the real strictness of it makes it incredibly hard to manage in public. Especially if you don't want your business being so out there in public!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Tuesday, April 15
This morning was 215.8, so it was a small loss yesterday. As usual, I wonder why. I can't seem to find the pattern, or any reason why some days I lose a full pound or more, and other days it seems to inch along.
I did switch from chicken to beef yesterday, with chicken in the morning, and beef at night. I also switched from broccoli to cucumbers, too. I have another day, today, where I'll be on beef and cucumber. If I only lose a little today, too, I'll be switching from beef ASAP!
This does make me wish I was tracking what I have been eating on a day to day basis. Maybe it really does make a difference? If it does, well, I can say that chicken and broccoli seems to work the best for me (I think!). It would be nice to know for sure...
I did switch from chicken to beef yesterday, with chicken in the morning, and beef at night. I also switched from broccoli to cucumbers, too. I have another day, today, where I'll be on beef and cucumber. If I only lose a little today, too, I'll be switching from beef ASAP!
This does make me wish I was tracking what I have been eating on a day to day basis. Maybe it really does make a difference? If it does, well, I can say that chicken and broccoli seems to work the best for me (I think!). It would be nice to know for sure...
Monday, April 13, 2009
Check In: Three Weeks on Releana (17 days on diet)
It was nice to wake up this morning and weigh in at 216.0. That is almost exactly 20 pounds from the morning I started the actual diet (and 20 pounds in 17 days is pretty amazing!).
So to check in about how it's going: my body is in good shape, no saggy look or feel. Possibily even cellulite is being helped, because my legs feel pretty smooth. I'm mainly losing around my belly and torso, although I can see it in my arms and face too. I was worried about boob droop, but it hasn't seemed to happen. Releana promised to only hit the bad fat, and it seems to be working! My clothes are hanging off me, which is great (an excuse to go shopping!). My nails are perhaps a bit more brittle, as I've broken several recently. My hair looks fine and healthy, though. My skin looks good too, nice and soft. The best part is my energy and my mood. I feel really good and really positive, really happy even. While I'm hungry sometimes still, it isn't so bad anymore. And I feel like I have the energy to do what I want to do. Usually I'm crabby and tired when I'm dieting, and I typically hate myself. I just feel so relaxed and calm with this. And losing so much weight, so quickly, and so gently, is amazing!
I've got three more days before my 21 days are up (once you start this, it is dangerous to stop before 21 days). So three more days of the dieting, for sure, and I'll be deciding if I want to continue on past. I have the Releana I would need to keep going now. I'm also considering stopping now, stabilizing at this weight, doing a regular diet or just maintaining, and then doing Releana again at some point in the future to work down smaller. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I think I'm leaning towards staying on Releana for a while longer. There is an intense month of post-Releana diet and monitoring to be sure that weight stabalizes, and as long as I can be done with that by the start of July, I'm OK. The idea of another transition into the Releana diet is really awful. That transition is hard, and while I wish I was eating and socializing now, it seems better to stay the course for a while more. Plus, I'm still too heavy. So I'll probably keep going past the 21 days.
I'm becoming a major fan of Releana, and I find myself trying to work out how I can recommend it to some of my friends without getting too personal...
So to check in about how it's going: my body is in good shape, no saggy look or feel. Possibily even cellulite is being helped, because my legs feel pretty smooth. I'm mainly losing around my belly and torso, although I can see it in my arms and face too. I was worried about boob droop, but it hasn't seemed to happen. Releana promised to only hit the bad fat, and it seems to be working! My clothes are hanging off me, which is great (an excuse to go shopping!). My nails are perhaps a bit more brittle, as I've broken several recently. My hair looks fine and healthy, though. My skin looks good too, nice and soft. The best part is my energy and my mood. I feel really good and really positive, really happy even. While I'm hungry sometimes still, it isn't so bad anymore. And I feel like I have the energy to do what I want to do. Usually I'm crabby and tired when I'm dieting, and I typically hate myself. I just feel so relaxed and calm with this. And losing so much weight, so quickly, and so gently, is amazing!
I've got three more days before my 21 days are up (once you start this, it is dangerous to stop before 21 days). So three more days of the dieting, for sure, and I'll be deciding if I want to continue on past. I have the Releana I would need to keep going now. I'm also considering stopping now, stabilizing at this weight, doing a regular diet or just maintaining, and then doing Releana again at some point in the future to work down smaller. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I think I'm leaning towards staying on Releana for a while longer. There is an intense month of post-Releana diet and monitoring to be sure that weight stabalizes, and as long as I can be done with that by the start of July, I'm OK. The idea of another transition into the Releana diet is really awful. That transition is hard, and while I wish I was eating and socializing now, it seems better to stay the course for a while more. Plus, I'm still too heavy. So I'll probably keep going past the 21 days.
I'm becoming a major fan of Releana, and I find myself trying to work out how I can recommend it to some of my friends without getting too personal...
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Sunday (Easter)
Well, this morning I woke up with no Easter basket, not that I usually have one. I don't even like cheap chocolate. But I am aware that doing this diet really isolates me. I can't celebrate with anyone, or socialize like usual at a restaurant, or invite people over, because I can't eat with people! This diet, while clearly it is working, clearly Releana is amazing, it still is an isolating experience. I find myself thinking forward to this summer, when I'll be off the Releana, and hopefully eating somewhat more normally, and all the great things I'll be doing and the travel and the normal social life around food! I want my life back!
One the plus side, this morning I was 217.2, so it was another whole pound from yesterday. I'll take that. Plus that means that I am almost 20 pounds down, too. And I feel pretty good. Yay, Releana!
One the plus side, this morning I was 217.2, so it was another whole pound from yesterday. I'll take that. Plus that means that I am almost 20 pounds down, too. And I feel pretty good. Yay, Releana!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Friday, and a whole pound!
218.6 this morning! Yay! I guess I'm back on track now. Or maybe it is random. I don't know. But it is really nice to have some immediate reward for being so good on this hard diet.
I guess, actually, the diet itself isn't that hard now. I'm kind of used to it, and even though I do get hungry late at night, I know it's those 15 hours without food that really matter. I've been eating a lot of turkey breast recently, and i'm pretty sick of it, especially without any kind of sauce or real seasoning besides herbamare (I'm getting tired of that taste, I'll tell you!). I have a few beef meals for the next day, and then I'll be back to chicken. That might be the best of all, although I have to cook it and it takes a long time to weigh it, cook each serving separately, and then pack it all. The turkey breast is so much easier because it is already cooked. And I can buy it at the deli counter without any additives and it's 99% fat free. But I can only eat so much turkey!
Anyway, I'm happy about that pound, and I noticed today that my favorite pair of velour comfy pants are really baggy on me now. Yay!
I guess, actually, the diet itself isn't that hard now. I'm kind of used to it, and even though I do get hungry late at night, I know it's those 15 hours without food that really matter. I've been eating a lot of turkey breast recently, and i'm pretty sick of it, especially without any kind of sauce or real seasoning besides herbamare (I'm getting tired of that taste, I'll tell you!). I have a few beef meals for the next day, and then I'll be back to chicken. That might be the best of all, although I have to cook it and it takes a long time to weigh it, cook each serving separately, and then pack it all. The turkey breast is so much easier because it is already cooked. And I can buy it at the deli counter without any additives and it's 99% fat free. But I can only eat so much turkey!
Anyway, I'm happy about that pound, and I noticed today that my favorite pair of velour comfy pants are really baggy on me now. Yay!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Thursday April 9th
219.6 this morning.
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night feeling terrible. Full body, all-over terrible. I started to feel a bit panicky, and I didn't want to let myself get too freaked out. I tried to be calm, and I drank a glass of water, and I just gently tried to put myself back to sleep. I had the feeling, though, that my body was going through something really hard. (I did skip a fruit yesterday, and that would mean I'd have a pretty low calorie count, even lower than usual). I don't know what it was, but I woke up really slowly this morning, and I felt really dehydrated.
But I did get down almost a pound yesterday. So that's good.
Today, I had meetings through the afternoon, and again, I couldn't eat that fruit. But today, I ate the apple along with my dinner. I kept thinking about how awful I felt in the middle of the night last night, and on the chance it was because I skipped the apple, I decided to eat it. Hope that was the right decision...
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night feeling terrible. Full body, all-over terrible. I started to feel a bit panicky, and I didn't want to let myself get too freaked out. I tried to be calm, and I drank a glass of water, and I just gently tried to put myself back to sleep. I had the feeling, though, that my body was going through something really hard. (I did skip a fruit yesterday, and that would mean I'd have a pretty low calorie count, even lower than usual). I don't know what it was, but I woke up really slowly this morning, and I felt really dehydrated.
But I did get down almost a pound yesterday. So that's good.
Today, I had meetings through the afternoon, and again, I couldn't eat that fruit. But today, I ate the apple along with my dinner. I kept thinking about how awful I felt in the middle of the night last night, and on the chance it was because I skipped the apple, I decided to eat it. Hope that was the right decision...
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Wednesday...and I Weigh More!
I'm writing this with the taste of Releana in my mouth. I'm about to go to bed but I wanted to write before I went to sleep.
I appear to be in a stall. This morning I was 220.4, which represents a gain of .2 pounds. It's very frustrating. I mean, why bother eating like this, and being so abnormal in terms of my social life and eating with people, when I'm going to GAIN weight? It sucks and I'm pretty disappointed.
And of course, I'm looking for patterns and trying to understand. Am I really stalling, or did I do something wrong? OK, for the last couple days, I've been out of my routine. It's exam week, and I'm not on my regular schedule and it's hard for me to follow my eating routine for Releana. Could that be it?
Here's my suspect list:
1) out of pattern, not eating food at exact correct 3 hour intervals.
2) missing a single dose of Releana two days ago.
3) substituting pickles instead of cucumbers for some meals in the past couple days.
4) end of period (why would that stop weight loss, though?)
5) stress from exam week
6) too much diet soda (this could be true, although why it would impact me now as opposed to last week I don't know)
So, I did not eat any pickles today. I took my Releana on time (I even mixed a new bottle tonight). I am thinking about summer break, which is relaxing and I'm trying not to be stressed. The one thing I didn't do well today was that I missed my second fruit in the afternoon. I just had to skip it completely because of how my schedule went today. It is really hard to stay to the strict eating schedule when I have exam week and I have to be certain places at certain times. I just couldn't fit in that apple. So I don't know if that will impact things for weight loss today. I guess I'll find out.
The good news is that I seem to have adjusted to the low calorie diet. I didn't even miss that apple, and I'm not hungry even now, more than 5 hours after my last meal. And even with missing that apple, my energy and mood are still good. No blood sugar problems. It really is kind of miraculous!
I just hope I'm back to losing weight when I weigh myself tomorrow. I'm envisioning 219.0 for tomorrow morning....
I appear to be in a stall. This morning I was 220.4, which represents a gain of .2 pounds. It's very frustrating. I mean, why bother eating like this, and being so abnormal in terms of my social life and eating with people, when I'm going to GAIN weight? It sucks and I'm pretty disappointed.
And of course, I'm looking for patterns and trying to understand. Am I really stalling, or did I do something wrong? OK, for the last couple days, I've been out of my routine. It's exam week, and I'm not on my regular schedule and it's hard for me to follow my eating routine for Releana. Could that be it?
Here's my suspect list:
1) out of pattern, not eating food at exact correct 3 hour intervals.
2) missing a single dose of Releana two days ago.
3) substituting pickles instead of cucumbers for some meals in the past couple days.
4) end of period (why would that stop weight loss, though?)
5) stress from exam week
6) too much diet soda (this could be true, although why it would impact me now as opposed to last week I don't know)
So, I did not eat any pickles today. I took my Releana on time (I even mixed a new bottle tonight). I am thinking about summer break, which is relaxing and I'm trying not to be stressed. The one thing I didn't do well today was that I missed my second fruit in the afternoon. I just had to skip it completely because of how my schedule went today. It is really hard to stay to the strict eating schedule when I have exam week and I have to be certain places at certain times. I just couldn't fit in that apple. So I don't know if that will impact things for weight loss today. I guess I'll find out.
The good news is that I seem to have adjusted to the low calorie diet. I didn't even miss that apple, and I'm not hungry even now, more than 5 hours after my last meal. And even with missing that apple, my energy and mood are still good. No blood sugar problems. It really is kind of miraculous!
I just hope I'm back to losing weight when I weigh myself tomorrow. I'm envisioning 219.0 for tomorrow morning....
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Oh, not good....
So yesterday, I realized I managed to forget to take my Releana in the morning. I didn't know if I should take an extra large dose at night to make up for it, but I decided to take the regular dose. I didn't know what effect it would have, but when I woke up this morning, I was 220.2, so I guess there's the answer.
And, I feel really awful right now. I don't think it's from being sick, although my throat is still absurdly sore, even with regular salt water treatments. (I can't use any lozenges, and I really kind of need some!). Anyway, I feel really unwell because of food.
This morning, I had to be up two hours earlier than usual to be at the college for final presentations from my students (instead of final exams). So I was really hungry, but those important 15 hours between the last meal and the first morning fruit of the next day hadn't passed. So I didn't eat. I had some plain tea, but no fruit. And then I got caught in the final presentations, and didn't get to eat for almost 4 hours after I got up. I ate my apple and felt really sick. Then I was an hour late, totally off schedule, to eat my lunch, which I felt like throwing up. I was all blood-sugar shaky, and headachey. I took an ibuprofen. I just had to force myself to eat my second apple, an hour and half late. And again, I'm so nauseated. My head feels dim, I can't really focus, and I have a headache. I'm not hungry in the least, but I feel nauseated, probably from not eating soon enough this morning. It's so bad, and of course, I have a lot of work to do!
Now that I think of it, maybe I didn't lose much weight this morning because I weighed myself before that 15 hour time period was up. Hmmm...
Anyway, aside from the first transition days, this is the first day I feel so unwell. Don't like it at all.
And, I feel really awful right now. I don't think it's from being sick, although my throat is still absurdly sore, even with regular salt water treatments. (I can't use any lozenges, and I really kind of need some!). Anyway, I feel really unwell because of food.
This morning, I had to be up two hours earlier than usual to be at the college for final presentations from my students (instead of final exams). So I was really hungry, but those important 15 hours between the last meal and the first morning fruit of the next day hadn't passed. So I didn't eat. I had some plain tea, but no fruit. And then I got caught in the final presentations, and didn't get to eat for almost 4 hours after I got up. I ate my apple and felt really sick. Then I was an hour late, totally off schedule, to eat my lunch, which I felt like throwing up. I was all blood-sugar shaky, and headachey. I took an ibuprofen. I just had to force myself to eat my second apple, an hour and half late. And again, I'm so nauseated. My head feels dim, I can't really focus, and I have a headache. I'm not hungry in the least, but I feel nauseated, probably from not eating soon enough this morning. It's so bad, and of course, I have a lot of work to do!
Now that I think of it, maybe I didn't lose much weight this morning because I weighed myself before that 15 hour time period was up. Hmmm...
Anyway, aside from the first transition days, this is the first day I feel so unwell. Don't like it at all.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Monday--14 days of Releana
220.4 this morning. So, after 14 days of Releana, 11 days of dieting, I've lost basically 16 pounds. I can see it in my face, and around my waist and hips. My clothes are a lot looser, and I even have to stop wearing some of them because they are so baggy. My skin feels softer, all over. I don't have that sense that I'm saggy or droopy (the way that quick weight loss often makes a person feel). My skin feels tight, and it really does seem like I'm losing real fat in all the right places.
On the downside, I woke up with that sore throat this morning, and it's pretty bad. I don't have any lozenges that don't have sugar or carbs in them. I tried the gargling with salt water trick this morning too, and that seems to have helped a bit. I'm afraid of getting sick while on this diet. I don't know how I would manage it, and I don't know how to understand what my body might be telling me by getting sick, if you know what I mean. Does getting sick mean my body doesn't want this quick weight loss, or my body doesn't like the intense dieting? Does it mean I'm drinking too much diet soda? I don't like any of these interpretations, and really, I don't want to get sick!
So anyway, two weeks into my whole Releana process, I have to say it is working as promised. Maybe even better than promised. And after the rough transition into it, aside from cravings that seem to come from nowhere and everywhere, I seem to be able to follow the strict diet (with a little help from diet soda). So good.
On the downside, I woke up with that sore throat this morning, and it's pretty bad. I don't have any lozenges that don't have sugar or carbs in them. I tried the gargling with salt water trick this morning too, and that seems to have helped a bit. I'm afraid of getting sick while on this diet. I don't know how I would manage it, and I don't know how to understand what my body might be telling me by getting sick, if you know what I mean. Does getting sick mean my body doesn't want this quick weight loss, or my body doesn't like the intense dieting? Does it mean I'm drinking too much diet soda? I don't like any of these interpretations, and really, I don't want to get sick!
So anyway, two weeks into my whole Releana process, I have to say it is working as promised. Maybe even better than promised. And after the rough transition into it, aside from cravings that seem to come from nowhere and everywhere, I seem to be able to follow the strict diet (with a little help from diet soda). So good.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Sunday
It's late and I'm about to go to bed. I'm hungry and I have a sore throat (and I'm hoping I'm not going to get sick). I might run down stairs and gargle with some salt water before jumping into bed. Maybe that will help.
I was 121.4 this morning. I guess that's good enough. (cleary, Releana has warped my brain, since this kind of daily result on any other diet would lead to great celebration, but for how quickly the weight can go with Releana, this is only mediocre.)
I was out working in my yard today for several hour, and it was pretty hard labor (lots of raking). The yard looks a lot better. I got hungrier than usual, and I guzzled diet soda. I had a can of diet cherry Dr. Pepper, three large glasses of diet A&W, and a bottle of diet orange cream soda. That's a lot of soda! I can't seem to be completely following the diet plan, since I basically crave the sweetness, and also, I think, because I need to feel like there is some little reward I can give myself. (I know, I know, that's not a particularly wise way to think about food, but still, it is what it is).
Anyway, I'm curious to know if all the exercise in the yard will affect the weight loss. Will be interesting.
And the other thing is, the more expensive diet orange cream soda in glass bottles really isn't very good. Got it at Target. No more.
I was 121.4 this morning. I guess that's good enough. (cleary, Releana has warped my brain, since this kind of daily result on any other diet would lead to great celebration, but for how quickly the weight can go with Releana, this is only mediocre.)
I was out working in my yard today for several hour, and it was pretty hard labor (lots of raking). The yard looks a lot better. I got hungrier than usual, and I guzzled diet soda. I had a can of diet cherry Dr. Pepper, three large glasses of diet A&W, and a bottle of diet orange cream soda. That's a lot of soda! I can't seem to be completely following the diet plan, since I basically crave the sweetness, and also, I think, because I need to feel like there is some little reward I can give myself. (I know, I know, that's not a particularly wise way to think about food, but still, it is what it is).
Anyway, I'm curious to know if all the exercise in the yard will affect the weight loss. Will be interesting.
And the other thing is, the more expensive diet orange cream soda in glass bottles really isn't very good. Got it at Target. No more.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Saturday, April 4th
So did I accidentally stumble onto the secret, or is this all just random (and slightly frustrating?). My weight this morning was 222 pounds. About 1.4 pounds lighter, after a day with THE SAME DIET, exactly, as the day before, when I only lost .4 pounds. What?
So the one thing that was different was that I ate my dinner portion an hour early last night. I was at a banquet, surrounded by food, BTW, including a plate of chocolate dipped cream puffs sitting right in front of me for 3 hours (!). I didn't cheat at all, even though I had to pull out my little dinner container and eat in front of a lot of colleagues, some of whom I don't know well. I didn't say anything. I could see them looking, though...! Anyway, with the flow of the banquet, I pretty much had to eat with the others, which was an hour early on my schedule. But that meant that I was without food not for the normal 15 hours, but really for about 16.5 hours overnight.
So perhaps that's the secret...?
So the one thing that was different was that I ate my dinner portion an hour early last night. I was at a banquet, surrounded by food, BTW, including a plate of chocolate dipped cream puffs sitting right in front of me for 3 hours (!). I didn't cheat at all, even though I had to pull out my little dinner container and eat in front of a lot of colleagues, some of whom I don't know well. I didn't say anything. I could see them looking, though...! Anyway, with the flow of the banquet, I pretty much had to eat with the others, which was an hour early on my schedule. But that meant that I was without food not for the normal 15 hours, but really for about 16.5 hours overnight.
So perhaps that's the secret...?
Friday, April 3, 2009
What???
So I was 223.4 this morning. What the heck???
I did start eating beef yesterday, as opposed to the chicken I have been eating since I started. Could that be it? Diet soda? That time of month? What?
I even walked more yesterday than I usually do.
It is REALLY disappointing to lose so little when this diet it so strict. I mean, really! 500 calories a day, strict schedule, seriously prescribed meals, and it leads to what? .4 pounds?
I am not happy.
I did start eating beef yesterday, as opposed to the chicken I have been eating since I started. Could that be it? Diet soda? That time of month? What?
I even walked more yesterday than I usually do.
It is REALLY disappointing to lose so little when this diet it so strict. I mean, really! 500 calories a day, strict schedule, seriously prescribed meals, and it leads to what? .4 pounds?
I am not happy.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Thursday, April 2--8th Day
So I guess my lesson is learned. 223.8 pounds this morning. Not even a full pound from yesterday, even with skipping part of a meal. Clearly, crazy diet mentality does not work with Releana.
Or maybe my slowing of weight loss is because it's that time of month...?
Fortunately, I've pretty much made the transition, and while I still have some cravings, and every now and then I get hunger rumbles, I'm mostly feeling pretty normalized now. My energy is good, my skin still looks pretty good, I'm sleeping fine. So, that's all good.
But still, man, even though I know it's crazy, I'm still disappointed when I'm losing less than a pound a day!
Or maybe my slowing of weight loss is because it's that time of month...?
Fortunately, I've pretty much made the transition, and while I still have some cravings, and every now and then I get hunger rumbles, I'm mostly feeling pretty normalized now. My energy is good, my skin still looks pretty good, I'm sleeping fine. So, that's all good.
But still, man, even though I know it's crazy, I'm still disappointed when I'm losing less than a pound a day!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Uh-oh
So am I getting crazy about this whole thing?
At my mini meal at lunch today (boiled chicken breast, 3.5 oz, and the same amount of mashed cauliflower), I noticed that the cauliflower tasted a bit off. I did cook it Sunday night, but geez, you'd think it would stay edible for longer than two days...
Anyway, I ate my little portion for lunch. But for dinner, at home, the smell of the cauliflower was again kind of bad. So I didn't eat it. I ate the chicken breast, but not the cauliflower. Now, I could have substituted another vegetable. And in fact, I have a nice fresh looking cucumber in my fridge for my meals tomorrow. But no, I did not cut into the cuke, or subsitute anything else. I actually was in that intense diet mind-frame, when I feel all intense about what I can cut out of any meal. And I had a little buzz of pride, too.
Now this is not good. I'm a woman on a strict 400-500 calorie a day diet, and I'm actually cutting food out of my meals? WHAT?
I must not get crazy. Really. And yet, here I am, as I'm typing this, thinking ahead to how much more weight I might have lost by tomorrow morning. And literally, I'm thinking it will be more than it was yesterday....
I really don't think I should be thinking like this--?
At my mini meal at lunch today (boiled chicken breast, 3.5 oz, and the same amount of mashed cauliflower), I noticed that the cauliflower tasted a bit off. I did cook it Sunday night, but geez, you'd think it would stay edible for longer than two days...
Anyway, I ate my little portion for lunch. But for dinner, at home, the smell of the cauliflower was again kind of bad. So I didn't eat it. I ate the chicken breast, but not the cauliflower. Now, I could have substituted another vegetable. And in fact, I have a nice fresh looking cucumber in my fridge for my meals tomorrow. But no, I did not cut into the cuke, or subsitute anything else. I actually was in that intense diet mind-frame, when I feel all intense about what I can cut out of any meal. And I had a little buzz of pride, too.
Now this is not good. I'm a woman on a strict 400-500 calorie a day diet, and I'm actually cutting food out of my meals? WHAT?
I must not get crazy. Really. And yet, here I am, as I'm typing this, thinking ahead to how much more weight I might have lost by tomorrow morning. And literally, I'm thinking it will be more than it was yesterday....
I really don't think I should be thinking like this--?
Wednesday. Darn.
So today is the first day I've lost less than a pound. When I woke up this morning, I weighed 224.6 pounds.
Was it because I ate my food out of order yesterday? I don't know. I do know that my doctor said I had to follow the plan strictly. I knew that meant no extra food, but eating the food at the right time in the right order seems kind of extra strict.
BUT. I want this Releana plan to work. So I'll be more careful today.
Was it because I ate my food out of order yesterday? I don't know. I do know that my doctor said I had to follow the plan strictly. I knew that meant no extra food, but eating the food at the right time in the right order seems kind of extra strict.
BUT. I want this Releana plan to work. So I'll be more careful today.
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