Starting Releana

I sort of accidentally found Releana.

I 'accidentally' gained 40 pounds in 2 years, right after I turned 40, and I found myself getting bigger and bigger without really noticing it very much. It's been a lot of work for me to get rid of the terrible terrible self-hate that comes with a lifetime of dieting, and for the last 7 years, with the help of some therapy and some big life changes, I've really started liking myself a lot more. Part of it was realizing that every day in my 20's on a diet was a day of self-hate. Ironically, as I've let the self-hate go, I've gotten larger. And I like myself more. So finding I had really gotten so large was almost a surprise.

I'm not a particularly bad eater. Not compulsive. No binge-purge. A slight tendency toward compulsive eating, such as the time in grad school when I went an entire term eating only apples, coffee, skim milk, and popcorn. Or how I can get hooked on a particular food and eat it for every meal for a couple of weeks. But generally, I eat organic and whole foods, and I watch my protein-carb ratio. My real problem is my sweet tooth. I love quality sweets and I can go a little crazy.

OK, my other problem is that I don't love exercise, and with my crazy work schedule I don't get much time for it except in summer. My life pattern has pretty much been lots of exercise in the summer, and not much at all during the rest of the year. I know that isn't healthy. And it's a pattern that really doesn't work if I take a summer 'off' from exercising. Actually, what happened was that I came back from a month-long trip to India, and I was sick sick sick. I was sick (on every level-physical, emotional, digestive, intellectual, and energy). I still feel that I don't quite have my self back. But in any case, I was really derailed from my life, and hence, the 40 pounds.

I really am kind of surprised; like, how did I get here? Even though I have some idea, without my constant self-hate voice, and with all my work, I really am a little surprised. And in a way, I'm a bit surprised that I could be surprised. I mean, it's not like I can hide from my own body. I'm out there in public every day. Big big big body. There I am!

But I think in a way, I have maybe been hiding from my life. I've stopped giving dinner parties and hosting big gatherings. I work nights a lot more, and weekends. One social event a week seems to be a pattern. I think it's easy to say that this could be a result of too much work. And I really genuinely have too much work. But I think if I'm honest with myself, while I can't hide my big big body, I have been hiding from my life.

In any case, I don't like it.

So I was visiting my mother in So. California, and often when I visit I take the chance to go get a check-up in the amazing holistic health clinic nearby. (I live in a very backwoods kind of a place, without much access to much of anything progressive or holistic). In any case, I had had my blood work done before I went to the clinic (as I had for each of several years I've gone to the clinic). While all my vitamins and supplements had helped me get my blood numbers a lot better, my cortisol level was through the roof. The stress hormone. Not a surprise. My doctor went through a supplement regime with me, and then said that she thought I would do really well with Releana.

Releana. I had never heard of it. My doctor told me that it can reset the hypothalamus, leading to greater energy, less stress, and better health. She also said it helps people lose a lot of weight safely and easily. The HCG hormone (which is Releana) is the hormone that pregnant women secrete when they are first pregnant. It helps guarantee that there is always fuel for the fetus, and therefore it is excellent at converting stores of body fat into usable fuel. At low doses, and with no fetus, Releana helps the body quickly convert and use up stores of fat. My doctor said that every employee a the clinic had tried it and every single one thought it was amazing.

I'm not a medical doctor. I think in general that "quick weight loss" plans aren't really very successful. But this sounded different, and in a sense, since weight loss was only part of it, it seemed worth a try. I'd be happy to lose weight. But I'd be even happier to be healthy and full of life again. I could use a lot less stress, and reprogramming my hypothalamus sounded like a good plan, as long is it was safe. My doctor said: no side effects, except weight loss. My doctor said: Releana (HCG) is completely safe since it is what pregnant women secrete. If pregnant women swim in it without any negative effects, then un-pregnant normal people are certainly safe.

And so I got some.